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Book Summaries Psychology

Part 1: Reality (Models)

The only thing that’s Capital-T True is that you get to decide how you see things.”

– David Foster Wallace

Chapter 1: What Attracts Women

What do women want? No one knows for sure, not even Sigmund Freud, who spent decades trying to figure it out. Manson points out that for men, the ideal woman just needs to tick a few boxes, like hip-to-waist ratio, clear skin, and shiny hair. But the ideal man for a woman? It depends on her psychology, histories with men, mood, ovulation cycles, and more. Complicated stuff.

To make things even more confusing, women don’t even know what turns them on, according to one experiment that showed a disconnect between what was going on between their legs, and what they reported feeling, while watching different video clips.

Generally, even though we don’t understand anything about women, we do know one thing. They’re attracted to men who are more successful, popular, and powerful than they are.

But that doesn’t mean you need a Rolex to attract a woman. Afterall, cavemen and starving artists succeeded, and they didn’t have large account statements or shiny watches. Yet some argue that it is the potential of the starving artist that’s attractive, the fact that he may one day own a Rolex, even if this doesn’t seem likely now.

But the latest thinking says that what women are really attracted to, is more narcissistic, they want to feel desired.

To maintain high status with women, you can’t seem too desperate, but if you show no desire at all, you don’t get the girl. What’s a man to do?

The Pick-Up Artist community solved this dilemma by suggesting that men try hard without showing that they’re trying hard. Basically, to try to deceive women, but they forgot one important thing, women aren’t stupid.

You can’t fake how interested or invested you are, eventually, you will be found out.

Chapter 2: Emotional Neediness

Someone who is needy is too invested in what others think. And women are turned off by that.

Even if you are in a relationship with a women, if you let her walk all over you and control your life, she will eventually lose respect for you, and dump you.

To attract a woman, you need to be more invested in your own opinions about yourself. That is how you display that you are not needy.

Fake alphas are guys who treat women they sleep with poorly, and regard them poorly. They beat their chest too hard. Usually, they’re overcompensating.

The fake alpha does around telling everyone he doesn’t give a fuck, but, he doesn’t not give a fuck at all.

Chapter 3: Power in Vulnerability

Men are taught to be aloof and uninterested, but this will get them nowhere. To connect to a woman, you need to be vulnerable, to show them that you are prepared to be judged by her. You do this by being honest, expressing your emotions, even if you might be rejected.

Some men may avoid exercising because they don’t want to stand out too much, they avoid dressing well for the same reason. This is the opposite of being vulnerable, it is a defensive tactic.

Even though it’s impossible to know what women want, the idea we get from most romance novels (the female fantasy) is that women want a strong, independent, high status male who is a bad boy, and doesn’t take shit from anybody, but he has depth and sensitivity and only opens up when he’s around her.

This doesn’t mean you should go around crying out your sob stories openly to every girl you meet. Being honest should make you feel nervous, that’s how it is recognized as authenticity.

Chapter 4: The Gift of Truth

When Manson went out with his friend, and heard what he said to women walking by, he was horrified. There was no way any of what he was saying could work. “I want to pee in your butt” was one of the Shakespearean lines he said. But his friend still managed to walk away with a lot of women.

The idea is that it doesn’t matter what you say, it’s all about your attitude. If you can signal that you don’t care whether she laughs or runs away horrified at what you say to her, then you are saying, “here’s who I am, take it or leave it” and that shows a rock-bottom low level of neediness, and a high level of vulnerability.

A fake alpha or overcompensating player will have the opposite effect, his obsession about sex and no interest in the person will repel any woman with dignity.

Full Text

"Silence is the best expression of scorn" - G.B. Shaw

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