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Book Summaries Psychology

Part 3: Honest Living (Models)

Demographics

Demographics are important. John the 35-year-old Computer Engineer, who doesn’t work out and writes poetry in his spare time, shouldn’t go to loud parties to attract a girl like Jenna, who is in college.

But demographics are not fixed. If two years prior, John the Engineer joined the gym, buffed up,  wore contact lenses instead of glasses, and dressed better while Jenna, in those two years, went into nursing school, took it seriously, and broke up with an abusive boyfriend, the situation would be different.

You should figure out what you value in a woman. Honesty? Affection? Intelligence? Curiosity? Similar interests? Education?

Find out where the women who have the traits you value go to. Find out what you enjoy doing the most, what events or organizations you can join.

There are many examples of great hobbies/events you can met women at, including dance classes, political organizations, concerts, sports leagues, volunteering, training courses, cooking classes, yoga classes, meditation course, travel groups, churches, and educational classes.

The Consequences of Perception

There are different opinions you can have about women. Here are some, and the consequences of each.

Assume No Attraction; Assume they Don’t Play Games

If you think women don’t play games, and most are not attracted to you, then you will try to game women who aren’t interested in you, converting very few. Women who are not attracted and don’t play games will keep rejecting you. Women who are not attracted but do play games will waste your time and attention.

The few women who are attracted to you will get turned off by your excess gaming. Those that don’t play games will either drop you for trying too hard or hook up with you anyway. Women who play games will feign disinterest, but because you think they aren’t attracted and don’t play games, you’ll believe them and stop pursuing.

This leaves you with a handful of women who were attracted to you anyway and don’t play games but would have hooked up with you regardless of what you said, but you made it harder for them.

Assume No Attraction; Assume They Play Games

This is the saddest set of beliefs to have. Since you assume no women are attracted to you, you will over-compensate and scare away many who actually are, and correctly recognizing those who are not interested. But since you think that women play games, you won’t trust their reactions and will waste a lot of time trying to win over women who never liked you. The only women who will put up with you are those who play games. But since you think they don’t like you; you won’t pursue the women who are interested but playing games, but instead will waste your time chasing women who are not interested in you and playing games.

Assume Attraction; Assume They Don’t Play Games

In this case, you think women are inherently attracted to you and that they are honest. The women who are interested in you and honest about it, you will immediately hook up with. And those who are not interested, and up front will save you plenty of time.

Women who are interested in you but play games will not steal your attention. This will sometimes force a woman to stop playing games when she realizes she may lose you. Other times it doesn’t. Women who don’t like you but play games, you will avoid, and move on.

You end up with women who are attracted to you and aren’t afraid to show it. You unconsciously screened all the women who were afraid to show it.

This means, less time, less effort, and lots of genuine, honest women who are attracted to you.

Money, Looks, Success

The more money, looks, success, the less attractive behavior you need. And the less money, looks, success you have, the more attractive behavior you need.

But being rich and behaving like a timid and weak chump will repel girls, at least those worth having.

  1. Recognize your personal interests
  2. Play up those interests
  3. Hone in on target demographic

It is better and more powerful to be someone attractive than to say something attractive.

Men who are more invested in others than in themselves will go through life doing what others ask them to. They will wear whatever seems “Ok.” They will groom themselves to the minimum and they will get the normal and job and go to a normal school. They will not do anything unique or original because that will risk not being accepted by others.

As a result, these men present themselves poorly. They are needy individuals and it is apparent in how they look and how they live.

But being sexual and attractive is controversial. You must be willing to do something that is going to make you stand out, to risk being disliked, and to risk other people’s approval to live life on your own terms.

Fitness and fashion will do more to attract women in a short amount of time than anything else.  

Work on having a deep voice – women are attracted to that. Look straight ahead, not down, unless you’re about to trip.

Be well-read and learn how to form opinions.

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"Silence is the best expression of scorn" - G.B. Shaw

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