If you are constantly maneuvering, and over aggressive, you will drive your targets away. By appearing bashful, fragile, you can get them to fall for you.
People misunderstand Casanova, he was not someone who constantly pursued woman, but he was being pursued by them. He had some qualities that revealed his weaknesses and women found this attractive. Of course, too much weakness is bad, since women do want men to be strong and confident. But too much strength turns them off, when you seem too perfect – you become intimidating. Your target senses that she does not have the ability to control you and so she turns away.
TV commercials do this brilliantly. They are often so bad that their viewers let their guard down and poke fun at it, but because of this, these commercials can influence the unconscious of their viewers.
The old American proverb says if you want to con someone, you must first get him to trust you, or at least feel superior to you (these two ideas are related), and get him to let down his guard. The proverb explains a great deal about television commercials. If we assume that people are not stupid, they must react to TV commercials with a feeling of superiority that permits them to believe they are in control. As long as this illusion of volition persists, they would consciously have nothing to fear from the commercials. People are prone to trust anything over which they believe they have control….• TV commercials appear foolish, clumsy, and ineffectual on purpose. They are made to appear this way at the conscious level in order to be consciously ridiculed and rejected…. Most ad men will confirm that over the years the seemingly worst commercials have sold the best. An effective TV commercial is purposefully designed to insult the viewer’s conscious intelligence, thereby penetrating his defenses.
WILSON BRYAN KEY, SUBLIMINAL SEDUCTION
If you’re interested in exploring the darker parts of human psychology that most people ignore, consider reading this short book The Dichotomy of the Self.