Table of Contents
More Like Ourselves
It’s easy to believe that we are rational beings who go through life carefully making decisions about what we want to see or do. But do we really decide what we want to read about, how often, and for what purpose? Do we consider both sides of the argument on equally? And if we are biased, how biased are we?
It’s easy to fool ourselves that our opinions are well thought out while everyone else’s are foolish. That their obsessions are baseless, misguided, and stupid while ours are pristine and wise. When other people challenge our views, we never thank them for pushing us to re-examine our propositions, we rebel in anger and disbelief. We behave as if we own our opinions – and they don’t own us. We speak as if we’ve conjured up the arguments we’re making it, and not borrowing from someone else. We accuse others of not paying enough attention, and assume that we are faultless in detecting errors in logical deduction.
But we need to tell ourselves a story. And that story needs to be good enough – in that it needs to put us in a good enough light. Otherwise, we would fall into despair. We can’t be honest with ourselves all the time. We can’t admit that we have just as many faults as anyone else, that our interests are far from special, that our intellect is average at best, or as Yogi Berra would quip, that ninety percent of our knowledge is useless while the other half is wrong. We need to have confidence, self-esteem, self-belief. We need to convince ourselves that there is indeed something special about ourselves. We’re not just some number, letter, or an afterthought. We must be significant, we must matter, our opinions must have weight.
Our ego leads us down dangerous paths.
We believe in our own bullshit. And then, we look for others to confirm that we’re right. That’s what confirmation bias is. We need to believe we’re important enough to stand for something – rather than nothing – and that others are missing a part of the bigger picture (or smaller picture) that we’re not. We need to stay in our domain of order, because if our foundations are shaken too hard, everything around us will come crashing down. Maybe our foundations aren’t strong enough, or maybe we have none at all.
When we’re young, it’s hard to have solid foundations. We simply haven’t been through enough. We’re not wise enough.
And so we read, watch, listen, talk – even to ourselves sometimes. We find people who share your opinions and band together with them. We spend less time with those who challenge us. We avoid conflict. Self-doubt and the army of internal struggles are powerful enemies – we don’t need to add more.
We need to be pragmatic. Going through life fighting monsters is an inevitability. We need to be kind to ourselves. Being too generous with the quota of monsters we allow into our lives will end up consuming us. And so, we look for consistency. Because we want to be able to transport ourselves through time and space without being constantly interrupted unnecessarily. And it can’t be any other way. If we were in constant doubt all of the time, we’d stay rooted in our positions. A certain fixation on a relatively bounded set of values is necessary for progress. It doesn’t so much matter whether or not we’re always moving in the right direction – as long as we’re moving. There’s no utility to standing still, wasting time, over-contemplation.
But there’s such a thing as being too hasty, unthinking, complacent. There’s a lot of wisdom to being patient and waiting for the answer instead of forcing one, And living intelligently must involve some kind of delicate, intelligent interplay between the two modes of thinking. However, the technology we’ve invented might be robbing us of our ability to exercise our second mode of thinking.
The Trade-offs
Social media and the internet – in general – helps solves our analysis paralysis in one way, but introduces a new form of paralysis in other ways.
The Good
By having a record of our behavior, social media platforms can construct a psychographic profile of who we are and direct more relevant ads and news pieces our way. These unceasingly generated, individually tailored content pieces allow us to enjoy the platform more- or spend more time there, and consequently make it more worthwhile for advertisers to spend their money there.
As we click on more articles that advocate our viewpoints, we grow more confident in our beliefs. We waste little time in needless deliberation, get more done with our day, and live more fulfilling lives.
Not only that, but we have access to content that is directly relevant to us. We don’t need to limit our minds to what some person or company wants to publish, we have full control (except for the algorithms that control what we could see… but still… the freedom is there). The internet has opened up avenues of infinite possibilities for us to explore. We can spend our time watching ridiculous, mindless videos or we can expose ourselves to the works of the greatest minds in human history any moment we want from anywhere in the world. We can also interact with like-minded people if we choose to. Or, if we’re argumentatively inclined, we can engage with people who’s views are comprehensively opposed to everything we believe in.
We can join like-minded communities and better inform ourselves on any subject we care about. We can share our own knowledge and experiences with anyone we want. We can find an answer to almost any question we have, and we can even get simplified, curated versions of complex ideas if we’re in a hurry – or on the move. If we don’t feel like reading, we can listen to audio books and if we don’t have a notepad to take ideas, we can choose from a number of services that store our ideas safely.
We no longer have to worry about misplaced or lost notes. We no longer have to worry about losing our passwords, ideas, books, contacts, addresses, or anything at all. We don’t even have to remember our own passwords. The profundity of the technological progress we have managed to make as an animal species can never be overstated. The amount of potential realities that have evolved as a consequence are too vast to comprehend. We’re in the age of information, indeed.
The Bad
The drawback is that we’re being boxed into who we are. We are becoming more extreme versions of ourselves, and the problem is that we become more susceptible to our own bullshit. The more people we find who act the way we do, and believe the things we do, the more we unquestionably accept our own identities. The extrovert flaunts on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook the details of their personal lives and gets recognition, while the introvert becomes a treasured member of sub-communities online, or plays out their fantasies in virtual worlds. It’s good to be comfortable with your own nature, but it’s dangerous to be deeply submerged into it as well. It’s better to explore the different facets of the human experience before converging onto a singular identity.
Interacting with people who are like us won’t help us think more critically about our life choices, beliefs, and preferences. It’s important to do that – because some of our ideas might need to be renewed or replaced. If we’re too reluctant to discard with parts of our identity, we risk losing our whole identity.
“The truth is something that burns – it burns off deadwood, and people don’t like having their deadwood burnt off often, because they’re 95% deadwood.” Jordan Peterson
Things don’t always need to burn, but some heat is always necessary. Sometimes getting challenged allows us to think more deeply about our opinions and may help strengthen our beliefs – and if these are positive beliefs then we’re doing ourselves a favor. That’s why I’ve always had a passion for debate. There’s nothing else – as far as I’m concerned – that has a consistently positive outcome every time two human beings interact. Of course, as long as the two people involved are genuinely interested in discussing ideas and learning from each other – rather than being involved in self-propagated propagandist plots against one another.
The other issue is that we become addicted to the medium itself. If we’re avid social media users. It’s tempting to think that time spent on social media can be considered productive. But it’s rarely the case. It’s more likely that we’re being led along endless rabbit holes that will end up draining all of our energy. And the amount of time we waste on social media is not trivial. For some people, it’s several hours a day. The opportunity cost is that it ceases to become an instrument when it becomes what you live for, and far too many people do live for it. And that’s not a surprise. A social media platform’s business model is built on maintaining our attention for the longest possible time.
Enter the Entrepreneurship Marketeer
These are the people who post videos that have millions of views. They’re the stars who are somewhat patronizing but usually harmlessly encouraging to their audience. They offer them a powerful story, a message of hope, and encourage positive action. A lot of people are draw in, especially young people. Anyone with charisma and a message you want to hear will rile you up. These people tend to have “rags to riches” stories that are impressive and captivating. They tend to speak with authority and confidence, consistently, enthusiastically, and intelligently. They have something to say, a personal message, and they seem genuine in their concern for others. Their intentions aren’t pure, after-all, no one’s intention is pure, but it seems as if they do intend to improve people’s lives.
But there’s a dark side to that story. A message should never be static. If you’re going out there and telling every single person in the world that you think they should be an entrepreneur, you’re being irresponsible, short-sighted, and maniacal. It’s a dangerous message to push forward. Most people should not be entrepreneurs. The fact that most people aren’t entrepreneurs is why some people can become entrepreneurs.
Now, some of these people are being honest in their message. They say things like “you need to hustle and forgo everything you value dearly” or “you need to work twice as hard as you’ve ever worked in your life”, but the people listening to that message are often too young and inexperienced to understand what that really means. They don’t know what sacrificing everything means. The most they’ve sacrificed is a few hours of hanging out with their buddies to sit down and study for a test.
What they really need to hear is that they’re going to have to say good bye to binge watching their favorite shows on Netflix, no more hanging out with their friends whenever they felt like it, no more partying, no more wasting any time at all – ever. That’s what it takes. If they don’t do that, other people who will do that will beat them at their game. It’s really that simple. And very few people understand that. It’s not that you’re not smart enough to figure things out at a gingerly pace, you probably will eventually. It’s that you’re competition is on speed and if you’re not working like a maniac, you’re going to be stuck in first gear for a long time. But people don’t hear that message. Instead, they see successful, enthusiastic, celebrity life coaches all too willing to espouse off-the cuff life advice to anyone who’s willing to listen.
There’s a great example by a Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert, in which he demonstrates this problem with a nice thought experiment. Imagine – that instead of showing the lottery winners on the news – you were to show the lottery losers. That, literally, every single person who’s ever lost a ticket would have a camera pointed towards them for a few seconds. And imagine a sequence of those events happening every day after watching the news – where as a citizen, you don’t just see the winners, but every single loser. In other words, what you see reflects the statistics accurately. What would happen? People would probably play the lottery less. Of course, some people do play the lottery because of the anticipatory rushes of excitement they get, but a lot of people play it because they think they might have a shot.
What we see is not what we get. It’s what we think we will get.
And then adolescents – sometimes young adults – choose to drop out of university and try to start a company. They often have no expertise in coding, designing, marketing, people skills or anything required to operate a business. They have time and ambition – and usually no capital. But they think they can raise money from Venture Capital funds. Why? Because people on shark tank did it, so why not them?
It’s tempting to think that you’d never fall for this kind of trap, but we all fall for them all the time. In different ways of course. But this particular way can’t be ignored. There are too many people who are being persuaded to make decisions they shouldn’t be making and that has the potential to destroy lives. Being realistic about your chances of success is not limiting your potential – it’s enhancing it. When you’re aware of how little you know, you’ll work hard to make up for your weaknesses. When you’re bamboozled by showmen who profit off of your attention to jump into the unknown with zero experience, you’ll crash hard, and you might not even learn why. Some people fail and attribute it to bad circumstances or timing. And the fact is – those are perfectly reasonable conclusions to make – and that’s exactly the problem.
Because if you are inexperienced and you do try to start your own business, and you do fail, and you a rational reason to place your blame on some external factor – and you do, then you’ve just wasted your time. You haven’t learned a thing. You’re not more likely to succeed the next time around. No more likely than you were when you first started out and knew nothing.
Instead, if you’re realistic about your abilities you can invest your time into learning more things and being less stupid. You can go out and ask more questions. You can get a better idea of what it’s going to take to succeed and make your decision after slow, careful deliberation. The entrepreneurial marketeers aren’t telling you to take your time. They’re telling you to jump. Because people want to hear that. They want someone to tell them to jump because what could be more exciting and life-affirming?
We’re in a constantly amplified version of reality.
Starting a business will amplify our reality even further, and considering the arguments is the least we can do.