A central theme in the Tao Te Ching is to be soft, fluid, changeable. To be fluid means to be like a child, who has not yet developed self-awareness. Because the child is not self-aware, he does not question his movements and does not lose presence.
The more self-conscious you become, the less fluid you are. But fluidity and suppleness is not the same as weakness. It is not the boneless stance of someone who does not stand for anything. In this sense, you must be like the female, to be as calm and as flexible.
CHAPTER 10: Be Like a Child
Can you coax your mind from its wandering
and keep to the original oneness?
Can you let your body become
supple as a newborn child’s?
Can you cleanse your inner vision
until you see nothing but the light?
Can you love people and lead them
without imposing your will?
Can you deal with the most vital matters
by letting events take their course?
Can you step back from your own mind
and thus understand all things?
Giving birth and nourishing,
having without possessing,
acting with no expectations,
leading and not trying to control:
this is the supreme virtue.
The less rigid you are, the more ready you are for life.
CHAPTER 76: Be Soft
Men are born soft and supple;
dead, they are stiff and hard.
Plants are born tender and pliant;
dead, they are brittle and dry.
Thus whoever is stiff and inflexible
is a disciple of death.
Whoever is soft and yielding
is a disciple of life.
The hard and stiff will be broken.
The soft and supple will prevail.
You should know the male, but keep to the female. You must remain receptive, because that is how you allow creativity to arise. The creative and the receptive are complementary. The male can be thought of as the ‘known’ and the female as the ‘unknown’. You need to welcome the unknown, the impersonal, the strange, so that you can break through the limits of your thought-patterns. That is what receptivity is, it is receptivity to the void and to darkness that can give birth to ingenious forms.
CHAPTER 28: Keep to the Female
Know the male,
yet keep to the female:
receive the world in your arms.
If you receive the world,
the Tao will never leave
you and you will be like a little child.
Know the white,
yet keep to the black:
be a pattern for the world.
If you are a pattern for the world,
the Tao will be strong inside you
and there will be nothing you can’t do.
Know the personal,
yet keep to the impersonal:
accept the world as it is.
If you accept the world,
the Tao will be luminous inside you
and you will return to your primal self.
The world is formed from the void,
like utensils from a block of wood.
The Master knows the utensils,
yet keeps to the block:
thus she can use all things.
One of the ideas that I thought was interesting and also related to the idea of suppleness, fluidity, and femininity is the idea of the shadow, which is a Jungian concept. It is not a surprise to know that Jung was influenced by Eastern thought, especially relative to his contemporaries.
If you want to get rid of something, such as defects in your character, then do not suppress them. When ignored, they will continue, but when you allow yourself to be aware of these defects, then they will eventually wither away.
William Blake said, “The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.” That is, it is through passion and mistakes that one reaches wisdom, not from teaching and prudence. Learning can only come from failure and over-indulgence, from a place of excess.
CHAPTER 36: Embrace the Shadow
If you want to shrink something,
you must first allow it to expand.
If you want to get rid of something,
you must first allow it to flourish.
If you want to take something,
you must first allow it to be given.
This is called the subtle perception
of the way things are.
The soft overcomes the hard.
The slow overcomes the fast.
Let your workings remain a mystery.
Just show people the results.